AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
