nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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