i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
