Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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