I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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