your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
