My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
