angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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