Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
