Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
