I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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