So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
