Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
