Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
