why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
