think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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