I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Terrible idea I love it
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
