Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
