I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
