Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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