OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
