At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
