ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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