it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
