weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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