So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize