We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
