I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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