Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
