Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
