no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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