All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize