Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
