I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize