dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
