Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
