Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
