Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We had to coat check the pizza.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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