The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
