My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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