this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
