How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
