Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
