if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
of course. lets lasso hookers.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
