We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Randomize