She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize