I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
