Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
