I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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