I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
