Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
