Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
