If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Well I just put wine in my tea
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
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