Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
