He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
