So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
