okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
