We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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