but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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