Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize