Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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