Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I FOUND THE LEGS
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
