i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
