3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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