I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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