I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
