We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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