you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
