My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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