My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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