Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
