I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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