i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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