haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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