..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I am available for nakedness
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
