I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
